Showing posts with label Happy Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy Friday. Show all posts

Friday, February 3, 2012

Cocky Guy Pancake Time

Today after work I'm pulling up to the exit in my work parking lot and this young college age guy is walking through it. I come to a stop to wait for him. He looks at me in my car cocks his eyebrow at me and then slows down his walk and does this slow-mo cocky ass douche walk changing his stride and his swing and does that the rest of the way through.

The only thing that could have made it worse was if he had suddenly stopped and sagged his pants halfway down his ass so his underwear would hang out.

I can only imagine what was going through his head....

'She's looking at me. She definitely wants me. Take a look at what you can't have baby. Oh yeah that's right I'll even walk slow because I'm that hot. I wish I had worn my saggy ass pants.  Yeah she wishes she could get f*cked by me.'

What was going through my head?

'Dammit there's a guy walking through the exit I hope he doesn't take all day. What the hell was that eyebrow? Cocky ass motherf*cker.  Oh my God is he really walking slower?  Is he trying to look cool doing that dumb crip walk?  He looks like a freaking douche while he walks like that.  Does he not know it is Friday and I just want to get out of here?  Wow, I can't wait to text DinoMommy about this idiot.  He's lucky I don't turn him into a douche pancake.'



Moral of the story... Do not block a girl from getting to her weekend.  She more than likely doesn't actually want your body... however you may end up in a body bag if you do not move along and stop acting like an attention whore.  Well maybe not, however there will possibly be some giggling at the thought of it. 

I've missed you all!  I've been on a hiatus from blogging.  I decided to just take the month of January off.  What did I do? NOTHING. And it was fantastic.

Much Love!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Blind Man Walks Into A Bar

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."



It is almost the weekend so I thought we'd lighten things up and kick it off with a good blonde joke.  Who doesn't love blonde jokes?

Happy Friday!!  Have a safe and super fun weekend!

Much love!


I found this joke at www.funnyhumor.com.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Omelet Night!

Yesterday one of my wonderful coworkers brought in some freshly laid eggs from his chickens.  Fresh eggs are undoubtedly the most awesome of all eggs.



Later in the day I remembered that a few weeks ago another fantastic coworker had brought me a jar of homemade Concord Grape jelly that was made from the grapes her father grows on his farm in Kentucky. 

I was never a grape jelly fan, however I had never been exposed to homemade grape jelly - I'm now a fan!  It's not overly sweet and it tastes like grapes, unlike the mock grape flavor infused sugar as you buy in the grocery store.


I decided I must have an omelet with these fantastically colored eggs.  And it had to be just a simple cheese omelet so that the flavor of the fresh eggs would be the star, not the filling/toppings. And the perfect complement would be biscuits with that wonderful grape jelly.



A basic light and fluffy wonderful Bisquick drop biscuit.   When you are a working woman who doesn't have time to roll out the homemade, but want fresh hot biscuits with the satisfaction of at least mixing them yourself this is the way to go. 2 minutes prep, 8 minutes cook and you feel like you've accomplished awesomeness.


If you are unsure of how to make an omelet  below I will paste a basic recipe I found from the web that uses the same technique I've figured out after years of trial and error. Follow the directions and it will be perfect.  It cannot get any easier than that.
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Cheese Omelet on the Food Network

Ingredients

  • 3 large Grade A eggs
  • 2 slices American cheese
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil

Directions

Equipment: 9-inch non-stick skillet and an immersion blender

Add oil to the skillet over high heat, and heat it until small hairline ripples appear on the surface of the oil.

Break the eggs into tall glass or frappe cup and whisk to blend for 1 minute. (The Waffle House uses a 15,000 rpm malt shop mixer.)

While moving the skillet in a circular motion, pour in the eggs. Continue to move the skillet in a circular motion, allowing the outside of the eggs to cook and fluff up. When the outside edges have firmly cooked, flip the omelet and cook on the other side for approximately 30 seconds. Keep moving the pan in a circular motion, but not as often as before it was flipped. (Too much movement at this time will cause the omelet to fall.) Flip the omelet once more to finish cooking--no more than 30 additional seconds.

Overlap 2 slices of American cheese in the center of the omelet in a diamond shape.

Fold the omelet in half, being certain to cover the cheese slices, and slide it onto your plate.
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My Personal Notes:
  • Do not add milk to your eggs for whatever reason it is people add milk.  Don't believe me, read this Why not to put milk in eggs.  Notice the awesome yellow color of my omelet.
  • I do not have the recommended blender device... I went old school with your good old bowl and a fork and beat the dickens out of my eggs for 60 seconds.
  • I did not use cheese slices as they suggested. I had shredded cheese which worked beautifully and even sprinkled a little on top for the fun of it.  
  • Notice you are not melting your cheese into the omelet while in the pan. If you try to do this it will dry out your eggs.  They are saying put in your cheese fold and take out of pan, it's a quick process. 
  • I personally, to not risk egg dry out, have my cheese prepared in advance then when they are done flip my eggs onto the plate so the hotter skillet side is up and toss in the cheese and fold. The heat and steam of the hot eggs will melt it perfectly within a minute or so as it cools.  
    • This also goes for if you were using other fillings such as vegetables, meats, etc... precook your fillings because they will take longer than your eggs, keep them on warm covered so they are nice and hot and throw in the middle of your hot egg as soon as it hits the plate and top with your cheese then fold.
      • Let's say you missed getting everything into the omelet before it lost it's hot steamy cheese melty abilities... do not fret and do not stick it back in the skillet to dry it out. Just put it in an oven safe dish and cover tightly with foil and pop it in the oven at a low temperature for a few minutes and it will retain it's fluffy moisture.
  • What does circular motion mean? You are not sliding your pan around on top of the burner in circles (or I don't). Slightly lifting up the handle holding the pan at an angle and gently making your eggs slurry around in circles in your pan by constantly moving your angle.
  • Pop and air bubbles with the corner of your spatula and keep circling.
  • Make sure you have a rather large spatula for your flipping and your eggs will be less likely to fold when you flip.
  • And finally be kind to your non stick pans - Only use a plastic or wooden spatula and your skillet will thank you!
When it comes down to it everyone has their own style. I know some people are reading this and thinking NO NO NO that's all wrong!  But hey....


My omelet was fluffy, moist, and the farm fresh egg taste was rich and wonderful!  And biscuit with that jelly... oh man that jelly!!!  Now that you've been shown the basics mix it up and try your hand at an omelet this weekend!

Much love and HAPPY FRIDAY!

Do you have omelet cooking tips I should try? Let me know!