Friday, February 3, 2012

Cocky Guy Pancake Time

Today after work I'm pulling up to the exit in my work parking lot and this young college age guy is walking through it. I come to a stop to wait for him. He looks at me in my car cocks his eyebrow at me and then slows down his walk and does this slow-mo cocky ass douche walk changing his stride and his swing and does that the rest of the way through.

The only thing that could have made it worse was if he had suddenly stopped and sagged his pants halfway down his ass so his underwear would hang out.

I can only imagine what was going through his head....

'She's looking at me. She definitely wants me. Take a look at what you can't have baby. Oh yeah that's right I'll even walk slow because I'm that hot. I wish I had worn my saggy ass pants.  Yeah she wishes she could get f*cked by me.'

What was going through my head?

'Dammit there's a guy walking through the exit I hope he doesn't take all day. What the hell was that eyebrow? Cocky ass motherf*cker.  Oh my God is he really walking slower?  Is he trying to look cool doing that dumb crip walk?  He looks like a freaking douche while he walks like that.  Does he not know it is Friday and I just want to get out of here?  Wow, I can't wait to text DinoMommy about this idiot.  He's lucky I don't turn him into a douche pancake.'

Moral of the story... Do not block a girl from getting to her weekend.  She more than likely doesn't actually want your body... however you may end up in a body bag if you do not move along and stop acting like an attention whore.  Well maybe not, however there will possibly be some giggling at the thought of it. 

I've missed you all!  I've been on a hiatus from blogging.  I decided to just take the month of January off.  What did I do? NOTHING. And it was fantastic.

Much Love!

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