It kind of goes hand in hand with my blog from last night, Life Remote Control?. I was miserable in my living situations, I tried and tried my hardest to make the situations work, and since I was not happy with my life situations, and nothing else I tried worked, I decided I would take life into my own hands, control what I could, which was me leaving the situations and starting over. Take charge and change my own life.
I see people sit in miserable relationships for years, complaining to everyone around them about how bad it is, but staying in it. And then we see people divorce after 20-30 years and have no problem saying that they had never been happy or hadn't been happy in years. I stuck the first one out for 10 years, I got married young and had that naive idea that marriage is supposed to last FOREVER no matter what! HA! And it ended horribly. So when I was in the second relationship I just got to the point where I knew it wasn't working and it was never going to, I had to dig deep in myself and to be an adult and end it before it got to the point to where it turned to complete shit, it already was kinda, but it could have gotten much worse. It took a lot for me to be able to end something while I still cared for the person, however I've resolved in my heart it's better to end it before it turns into a situation where I pretty much hated them.
So now that I've been single for a year I've come a long way. This is the longest I've been single since I was 19, because I met my exboyfriend the same week I moved out of my exhusband's home. Yeah I fell into the rebound thing, they never work I hear. Luckily I'm a person who actually enjoys alone time, actually thrives from and needs alone time. I've rarely felt lonely during this year, I've had my moments, but they never last long.
I left behind a lot of nice things that I either purchased or helped purchase. Though I have a lot of stuff, I still need/want a lot of other stuff. So over the past year I've been able to get some of those things, and I'll hopefully be able to continue to get them. A couple of my major goals is I desperately need a new/used car, the one I have is living on borrowed time and I'm thankful every day it gets me where I need to go. Secondly I would love to get out of this tiny apartment and possibly move into a house or something. I'd really love for my dog, Balue, to have a fenced yard again! As mentioned in the blog last night I was able to upgrade my job and hopefully will continue to be able to upgrade my life.
What does my future hold for me? I have no idea. I have goals and aspirations. But I'm not worried, I know I always end up where I need to be. Even if my last two relationships weren't all great, they weren't all bad, but more importantly I learned a lot about life and myself during both of them. So even if they didn't last forever, not everything is meant to, but I was where I needed to be at the time, because otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now. And it's a really good place. And I'm grateful for that.
Truly loving, trusting, and respecting yourself will get you through anything.
Whether you are single or living life with another person or people... always strive to better yourself.
A virtual toast to the people who are able to move on and move up in life no matter their circumstances!