Blonde Girl Single Anniversary

This week commemorates one year that I have been single.  I don't know the exact day, just like I couldn't tell you the exact day that I met my exhusband or the exact day that I left him, or the exact day that I met my exboyfriend and not sure of the exact day that I left him.  However I do happen to know that broke up with him during the week after Thanksgiving so I'm just going to call the last day of November my single anniversary. =)

It kind of goes hand in hand with my blog from last night, Life Remote Control?.  I was miserable in my living situations, I tried and tried my hardest to make the situations work, and since I was not happy with my life situations, and nothing else I tried worked, I decided I would take life into my own hands, control what I could, which was me leaving the situations and starting over. Take charge and change my own life.

I see people sit in miserable relationships for years, complaining to everyone around them about how bad it is, but staying in it.  And then we see people divorce after 20-30 years and have no problem saying that they had never been happy or hadn't been happy in years.  I stuck the first one out for 10 years, I got married young and had that naive idea that marriage is supposed to last FOREVER no matter what!  HA!  And it ended horribly.  So when I was in the second relationship I just got to the point where I knew it wasn't working and it was never going to, I had to dig deep in myself and to be an adult and end it before it got to the point to where it turned to complete shit, it already was kinda, but it could have gotten much worse.  It took a lot for me to be able to end something while I still cared for the person, however I've resolved in my heart it's better to end it before it turns into a situation where I pretty much hated them.

So now that I've been single for a year I've come a long way.  This is the longest I've been single since I was 19, because I met my exboyfriend the same week I moved out of my exhusband's home.  Yeah I fell into the rebound thing, they never work I hear.  Luckily I'm a person who actually enjoys alone time, actually thrives from and needs alone time.  I've rarely felt lonely during this year, I've had my moments, but they never last long.


I left behind a lot of nice things that I either purchased or helped purchase.  Though I have a lot of stuff, I still need/want a lot of other stuff.  So over the past year I've been able to get some of those things, and I'll hopefully be able to continue to get them.  A couple of my major goals is I desperately need a new/used car, the one I have is living on borrowed time and I'm thankful every day it gets me where I need to go. Secondly I would love to get out of this tiny apartment and possibly move into a house or something.  I'd really love for my dog, Balue, to have a fenced yard again!  As mentioned in the blog last night I was able to upgrade my job and hopefully will continue to be able to upgrade my life.

What does my future hold for me?  I have no idea.  I have goals and aspirations.  But I'm not worried, I know I always end up where I need to be.  Even if my last two relationships weren't all great, they weren't all bad, but more importantly I learned a lot about life and myself during both of them.  So even if they didn't last forever, not everything is meant to, but I was where I needed to be at the time, because otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now.  And it's a really good place.  And I'm grateful for that.

Truly loving, trusting, and respecting yourself will get you through anything.

Whether you are single or living life with another person or people... always strive to better yourself.   

A virtual toast to the people who are able to move on and move up in life no matter their circumstances!



Much love!

Inner Strength

I had a few days off of work, and I took the days to kind of decompress, recoup, be lazy and avoid thinking as much as possible.  Sometimes we all need a little mental break.  During the down time I read through some of my old blogs and I thought I would share one tonight because I found it as a good reminder to myself, and hopefully it will be a good reminder to you as well.
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Inner Strength - Written by me on 11/1/2006

Sometimes in life we are faced with decisions, circumstances, and situations that feel overwhelming.  Fear and confusion can consume us if we are not diligent and see ourselves as strong and able to accomplish anything we want or live through anything life throws at us.

They say the power of positive thinking is strong, and I agree.  The mind is a powerful thing, I agree with that too.

If we can bring ourselves to a point where we believe that no matter what obstacles life throws at us,  that we can push through and persevere, and make it to our ultimate goals... then the people on this earth would be a lot happier.

Not many things in life can be accomplished easily.  Especially for those who do not have someone else paying their way or a huge mental support team backing them up and cheering them on.  If you can believe in yourself, and pull from your own strength inside of yourself, then you will reach heights that you never imagined you are possible of achieving.

How do you find that inner strength?  I don't know some magical formula that will wahlah make you tap into it.  You just have to want something and not be scared to go for it no matter what circumstances surround you.  Some use the power of faith in a higher being to help them find their inner strength. 

Whether it be an awesome job, a better healthier body, a new frame of mind, or even a whole new life... if you can focus on that thing you want more than anything and take the first step to getting there, making the decision that this is really what you want, then you just may find that hidden source of strength that you've repressed all too long.

First you have to figure out what it is you really want though.  You can't be full of indecision and doubt and flip flopping on "Do I want this or do I want this".  Confusion and question about your goals and decisions will try to sneak in tear you down.  Those thoughts and feelings are natural.  You just have to work through them.

Tell yourself that you want this and you are going to follow through with what you have started.  Do not give up on yourself no matter what.  Do not let the chastising of others bring you down.  Take from that and know that one day you will be where you want and happy and accomplished and they will still be where they were at when they tried to ridicule you and bring you down.

It's unfortunate but most people in this life do not want to see someone be more successful than them, some people just do not want others to succeed period and will do everything in their power to make you feel ridiculous for what you are trying to do with yourself.  If everyone you knew dropped out of your life you would still be able to carry on with living.

Do not worry about what others think; keep pushing keep diligent and persistent.  You'll make it to where it is you want to be. Your own strength, your own support system within you, is the strongest thing you have.  Inner strength and believing in you can overcome anything.  If you know what you are doing is right for you then follow through and accomplish that or those things that you desire in your heart.  You may start a wildfire within yourself.  Accomplish one goal, then you'll be set to give it a go at the next.  

Your inner strength is waiting to be tapped, so start looking for it and you just may find it. 

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That blog is as true to me today as it was 5 years ago.  Having the support of others is a gratifying and comfortable thing.  But as I've learned sometimes you do not have the support of anyone, but you know what is right for you.  Have respect for yourself, trust yourself, and always have faith in yourself.  You are awesome!

Much love!