Blonde Girl Single Anniversary

This week commemorates one year that I have been single.  I don't know the exact day, just like I couldn't tell you the exact day that I met my exhusband or the exact day that I left him, or the exact day that I met my exboyfriend and not sure of the exact day that I left him.  However I do happen to know that broke up with him during the week after Thanksgiving so I'm just going to call the last day of November my single anniversary. =)

It kind of goes hand in hand with my blog from last night, Life Remote Control?.  I was miserable in my living situations, I tried and tried my hardest to make the situations work, and since I was not happy with my life situations, and nothing else I tried worked, I decided I would take life into my own hands, control what I could, which was me leaving the situations and starting over. Take charge and change my own life.

I see people sit in miserable relationships for years, complaining to everyone around them about how bad it is, but staying in it.  And then we see people divorce after 20-30 years and have no problem saying that they had never been happy or hadn't been happy in years.  I stuck the first one out for 10 years, I got married young and had that naive idea that marriage is supposed to last FOREVER no matter what!  HA!  And it ended horribly.  So when I was in the second relationship I just got to the point where I knew it wasn't working and it was never going to, I had to dig deep in myself and to be an adult and end it before it got to the point to where it turned to complete shit, it already was kinda, but it could have gotten much worse.  It took a lot for me to be able to end something while I still cared for the person, however I've resolved in my heart it's better to end it before it turns into a situation where I pretty much hated them.

So now that I've been single for a year I've come a long way.  This is the longest I've been single since I was 19, because I met my exboyfriend the same week I moved out of my exhusband's home.  Yeah I fell into the rebound thing, they never work I hear.  Luckily I'm a person who actually enjoys alone time, actually thrives from and needs alone time.  I've rarely felt lonely during this year, I've had my moments, but they never last long.


I left behind a lot of nice things that I either purchased or helped purchase.  Though I have a lot of stuff, I still need/want a lot of other stuff.  So over the past year I've been able to get some of those things, and I'll hopefully be able to continue to get them.  A couple of my major goals is I desperately need a new/used car, the one I have is living on borrowed time and I'm thankful every day it gets me where I need to go. Secondly I would love to get out of this tiny apartment and possibly move into a house or something.  I'd really love for my dog, Balue, to have a fenced yard again!  As mentioned in the blog last night I was able to upgrade my job and hopefully will continue to be able to upgrade my life.

What does my future hold for me?  I have no idea.  I have goals and aspirations.  But I'm not worried, I know I always end up where I need to be.  Even if my last two relationships weren't all great, they weren't all bad, but more importantly I learned a lot about life and myself during both of them.  So even if they didn't last forever, not everything is meant to, but I was where I needed to be at the time, because otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now.  And it's a really good place.  And I'm grateful for that.

Truly loving, trusting, and respecting yourself will get you through anything.

Whether you are single or living life with another person or people... always strive to better yourself.   

A virtual toast to the people who are able to move on and move up in life no matter their circumstances!



Much love!

Online Dating?

Online dating… kind of scary and freaky. I’ve done it. Finding strangers online didn’t work out too well for me. I actually formed my last relationship that lasted 2 years from us meeting online. I knew it was over sooner, it just took me awhile to realize what I knew had no option but to come to fruition.


One thing I've learned from my own mistakes as well as from other people is that if you put too much information out there about yourself there is no mystery.  Some people will take advantage of knowing too much about you and put up a false front because they know exactly what it is you are looking for. By the time true colors come shining through you’ve already invested time and heart strings, and then comes the dilemma of dealing with the real person for the love of the one you fell in love with or just moving on.

After my relationship that had formed online ended I decided to try again. Scary. I didn’t put out as much information about myself and what I was looking for this time. I came in contact with this guy who was super and nice and sweet, a little clingy which I find annoying but with time it becomes tolerable. A few days into talking to each other he found me on Facebook and I accepted his friend request.   Then the fun started. Within a day he starts telling me that I am now his girlfriend and he wanted me to delete all the other men on my Facebook page and did not want me talking to any other men at all. Whoa!! What!! It hasn’t even been a week since we started talking and we haven’t even met! Deleted and Blocked.

I’ve known people who have successful relationships from meeting through online dating. Typically it seems they actually talked online for quite awhile before meeting, some for weeks, some months and some years. One of my favorite online love stories was recently posted by my friend Dinosaur Mommy in her post A Borrowed Blog. At first look it is long, but it's so worth the read, even though I already knew how it would end I was on the edge of my seat the entire time hoping they would end up together.


Taking it slow and getting to know each other probably sounds less appealing for some people who are lonely. However a major advantage is people are much more open via online correspondence than they are in person. This works with friends as well. If you are a virtual chatter you probably find that you end up telling your friend who you speak to online through instant messengers, emails, and other services, even text messaging more than what you tell your friends who you spend more time with hanging out in person. This isn't the law for everyone, I just know a lot of people are like this.  And I do not see how actually getting to know someone before investing your time and heart into them can be a bad thing.

In this cyber age I am sure we will all hear more and more stories from our friends about how they met their one and only online. Do you online date? Have you had a success story or find yourself with failure after failure?

Much love and many wishes for relationship success! 


If you are looking for a book to help, you will find that Amazon has many Dating Books for advice and stories etc for great prices, and many qualify for super saver free shipping.

Guard Dogs and Guns



Balue's first night home.



When I brought Balue home when he was about 8 weeks old on his 3^rd day with me I knew he was going to be a good guard dog.  I barricaded him into the kitchen with a baby gate and left for work that Monday morning.  When I got home and opened my front door I hear the most precious little guard puppy noises coming from the kitchen you ever heard… “Grrrr WOOF grrrrrr woof woof woof grrrrr”.  I was thrilled!  I walked around the corner and he saw me and immediately started wagging his tail and went into goofy happy my mom is home puppy mode. 

Since then there has only been a couple of occasions when Balue has had to go into guard dog mode.  One such occasion was when I had left home for a birthday party and came back I did not notice that though I had left lights on, the inside of the house was now completely dark.  The house had a fenced back yard and that is where I had left Balue because he was still in the young dog phase where he would tear things up if I left him inside alone.  I enter the back yard to go through the back door to let Balue inside with me still not a care in the world and happy from such a fun party and he was acting all antsy and wanting in badly, I’m thinking ‘sheesh dog chill’.  I open the door and Balue immediately flies inside and starts growling and barking and I realized something was wrong.  It turned out I had gotten home just in time to let Balue in to chase the robbers that were in the house through the front door and they left behind the duffle bags of items they had packed to take with them, unfortunately they had pocketed some of my jewelry though.  Balue proceeded to check every room and be on guard for the rest of the evening.

Last night about 2:30 am I am sleeping and wake up to Balue jumping out of the bed and then hear his large paws hit my sliding glass door and he starts his low growl and barking telling someone to get away.  I’m pretty sure it was not an animal because he has a different bark for them.  This was serious.  I’m so freaked out that I was kinda sitting there in bed thinking ‘why in the hell do I not have a gun!’ Balue ran in jumped in the bed looks at me and runs back to the window but he wasn’t barking or growling anymore so I’m assuming whoever the creeper is must be gone.  I go and double check all the doors and windows are locked and thankfully they were and did not see anyone.

I’m then laying in the bed thinking about this event.  I’ve always had a man and usually guns in the house and never really worried about safety.  I was thinking maybe I should get a baseball bat… which a serious assailant would probably laugh at a girl standing there with a baseball bat.  Unfortunately I’m not a ninja and probably couldn’t actually knock a gun out of someone’s hand with my bat and then do some fancy flip and karate chop them in the back of the head to knock them out until the police arrive. 

I’ve always believed in the right to protect your home with a gun, and I’m thinking I don’t want to bring a bat or a knife to a gun show.  Being a single female who lives alone certainly has its advantages and along with that it's downfalls, and safety is one of them.  I used to be an apartment property manager and I know that apartment break-ins in this city are very common.  For example, a couple of years ago a couple of girls at the complex next to the one I worked at were tortured at gunpoint for hours then robbed.  Having a great guard dog does make me feel a level of safety and I love and appreciate him dearly… however what would I do if they got past the dog? 

Perhaps a gun of my own isn’t such a bad idea.  I’ve used them before at target practice and I’m not a bad shot.  I’d just need to find the right one for me and then learn how to clean and properly maintain it.  That thought reminds me that there is something sexy about a man cleaning his gun, they take such pride and care in doing it.

I know a lot of people do not feel the same way as I do and are very anti-gun.  How would your family protect yourselves if an armed assailant entered your home?

Much love!

Single Blonde Girl vs. Grocery Shopping

Being single for the first time in almost 13 years or so has it's many perks and few challenges.  One such challenge has been retraining myself on grocery shopping.  Anyone who has always shopped for one person is probably thinking 'oh that's easy'.  For me it is getting easier for sure.  I rarely eat out, I am such a spend thrift that I find it much cheaper to make my own meals and besides that I just enjoy cooking.  So when I am shopping it is for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I used to do what I call Armageddon grocery shopping.  Every two weeks on payday I'd go and stock up on everything in the world that the household may possibly need for those two weeks.  Why every 2 weeks?  Payday always fell every two weeks.  I was hauling in enough food to fill the pantry, cupboards, refrigerator, freezer and deep freezer, as well as other necessities such as cleaning supplies and personal hygiene.  When I was with my ex-husband and his younger teenaged brother lived with us the bulk discount stores were definitely my friend, it is truly amazing how much food 2 young men can pack away.  And when I was in my second domestic living family situation where there were two young children again I was amazed at how much food 2 little girls can pack away!  And let us not forget toilet paper.  What in the world do they do with the toilet paper?

One of the downfalls of continuing to bulk shop in my current living situation is that my apartment is not located super close to the parking lot.  So making 13 trips with grocery bags to Narnia is not the funnest thing in the world to do.   After the first time I went and did my normal 2 week stock up trying to guess what I would need for only me and any possible visitors and I did those several trips back and forth from the parking lot to my apartment bringing everything in I knew that I had to figure out a better system.

After trial and error over the months I think I've got it down, finally!  I now know exactly how much food I consume on my own.  I've always taken a list when I grocery shop to streamline my process, and it's amazing that my list is so short now after being so used to shopping for so many people.  My biggest friend is the tiny version of the shopping cart that my preferred grocery store now has.  It's wonderful!  It has two tiny baskets and whatever fits in those tiny baskets ends up being one trip to the apartment from the parking lot.  I also have changed my routine of biweekly grocery shopping to now shopping once a week and get everything I need just for that week.

Now that I've gotten this down some hunk of an awesome man is probably going to fall into my lap, undoubtedly with 9 children and a younger brother and an uncle and 16 dogs that live with him, bringing me a whole new challenge of retraining my shopping habits.  But I'm always up for a good challenge. ;)

Much love!