Blonde Girl Single Anniversary

This week commemorates one year that I have been single.  I don't know the exact day, just like I couldn't tell you the exact day that I met my exhusband or the exact day that I left him, or the exact day that I met my exboyfriend and not sure of the exact day that I left him.  However I do happen to know that broke up with him during the week after Thanksgiving so I'm just going to call the last day of November my single anniversary. =)

It kind of goes hand in hand with my blog from last night, Life Remote Control?.  I was miserable in my living situations, I tried and tried my hardest to make the situations work, and since I was not happy with my life situations, and nothing else I tried worked, I decided I would take life into my own hands, control what I could, which was me leaving the situations and starting over. Take charge and change my own life.

I see people sit in miserable relationships for years, complaining to everyone around them about how bad it is, but staying in it.  And then we see people divorce after 20-30 years and have no problem saying that they had never been happy or hadn't been happy in years.  I stuck the first one out for 10 years, I got married young and had that naive idea that marriage is supposed to last FOREVER no matter what!  HA!  And it ended horribly.  So when I was in the second relationship I just got to the point where I knew it wasn't working and it was never going to, I had to dig deep in myself and to be an adult and end it before it got to the point to where it turned to complete shit, it already was kinda, but it could have gotten much worse.  It took a lot for me to be able to end something while I still cared for the person, however I've resolved in my heart it's better to end it before it turns into a situation where I pretty much hated them.

So now that I've been single for a year I've come a long way.  This is the longest I've been single since I was 19, because I met my exboyfriend the same week I moved out of my exhusband's home.  Yeah I fell into the rebound thing, they never work I hear.  Luckily I'm a person who actually enjoys alone time, actually thrives from and needs alone time.  I've rarely felt lonely during this year, I've had my moments, but they never last long.


I left behind a lot of nice things that I either purchased or helped purchase.  Though I have a lot of stuff, I still need/want a lot of other stuff.  So over the past year I've been able to get some of those things, and I'll hopefully be able to continue to get them.  A couple of my major goals is I desperately need a new/used car, the one I have is living on borrowed time and I'm thankful every day it gets me where I need to go. Secondly I would love to get out of this tiny apartment and possibly move into a house or something.  I'd really love for my dog, Balue, to have a fenced yard again!  As mentioned in the blog last night I was able to upgrade my job and hopefully will continue to be able to upgrade my life.

What does my future hold for me?  I have no idea.  I have goals and aspirations.  But I'm not worried, I know I always end up where I need to be.  Even if my last two relationships weren't all great, they weren't all bad, but more importantly I learned a lot about life and myself during both of them.  So even if they didn't last forever, not everything is meant to, but I was where I needed to be at the time, because otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now.  And it's a really good place.  And I'm grateful for that.

Truly loving, trusting, and respecting yourself will get you through anything.

Whether you are single or living life with another person or people... always strive to better yourself.   

A virtual toast to the people who are able to move on and move up in life no matter their circumstances!



Much love!

Online Dating?

Online dating… kind of scary and freaky. I’ve done it. Finding strangers online didn’t work out too well for me. I actually formed my last relationship that lasted 2 years from us meeting online. I knew it was over sooner, it just took me awhile to realize what I knew had no option but to come to fruition.


One thing I've learned from my own mistakes as well as from other people is that if you put too much information out there about yourself there is no mystery.  Some people will take advantage of knowing too much about you and put up a false front because they know exactly what it is you are looking for. By the time true colors come shining through you’ve already invested time and heart strings, and then comes the dilemma of dealing with the real person for the love of the one you fell in love with or just moving on.

After my relationship that had formed online ended I decided to try again. Scary. I didn’t put out as much information about myself and what I was looking for this time. I came in contact with this guy who was super and nice and sweet, a little clingy which I find annoying but with time it becomes tolerable. A few days into talking to each other he found me on Facebook and I accepted his friend request.   Then the fun started. Within a day he starts telling me that I am now his girlfriend and he wanted me to delete all the other men on my Facebook page and did not want me talking to any other men at all. Whoa!! What!! It hasn’t even been a week since we started talking and we haven’t even met! Deleted and Blocked.

I’ve known people who have successful relationships from meeting through online dating. Typically it seems they actually talked online for quite awhile before meeting, some for weeks, some months and some years. One of my favorite online love stories was recently posted by my friend Dinosaur Mommy in her post A Borrowed Blog. At first look it is long, but it's so worth the read, even though I already knew how it would end I was on the edge of my seat the entire time hoping they would end up together.


Taking it slow and getting to know each other probably sounds less appealing for some people who are lonely. However a major advantage is people are much more open via online correspondence than they are in person. This works with friends as well. If you are a virtual chatter you probably find that you end up telling your friend who you speak to online through instant messengers, emails, and other services, even text messaging more than what you tell your friends who you spend more time with hanging out in person. This isn't the law for everyone, I just know a lot of people are like this.  And I do not see how actually getting to know someone before investing your time and heart into them can be a bad thing.

In this cyber age I am sure we will all hear more and more stories from our friends about how they met their one and only online. Do you online date? Have you had a success story or find yourself with failure after failure?

Much love and many wishes for relationship success! 


If you are looking for a book to help, you will find that Amazon has many Dating Books for advice and stories etc for great prices, and many qualify for super saver free shipping.